My granddaughter has been begging me for months and months to guest post on this blog…and for months and months I’ve resisted it. Having her guest post honestly makes me a little nervous even though I’m not sure why…it’s not that I don’t trust her judgment.
I should…after all, she is in college. But finally, after months of begging, I agreed and told her to email me something, anything that had to do with Halloween. After weeks of having told her that, I breathed a sigh of relief having not received anything from her. However, yesterday, much to my disillusionment, I received an email that was so hilarious that I can’t help but share it now.
Congratulations, Jen, you finally made it on the blog!
Guest Post from Emma Rae’s Granddaughter, Jen
Hey Grandma, here’s the post I wrote for ya!
So you’re sitting around the apartment come Halloween time and you’re bored. All the school activities totally suck so you decide to get a few friends together to watch a movie.
The biggest problem is what movie to watch. Of course, you always have those weenies who are too chicken to watch “A Haunting in Connecticut” or even “The Ring”, which I don’t even understand because they’re not even scary, but whatever. Besides that, what other movies are there to watch around Halloween?
Well, my boyfriend brought up one about a year ago that I haven’t seen since I was about 14—”Hocus Pocus.”
Hocus Pocus is probably the best Halloween movie ever created. Ever. I mean, you’ve got a talking cat, a witch flying around on a vacuum in her fancy witch costume and a zombie with his mouth sewn shut. Hello…genius! Never mind that this movie is as old as I am. Its hilariousness will live forever, just like the Sanderson Sisters wish they could.
Max, of Hocus Pocus
For those of you who’ve never seen it (which, if you haven’t, I’m not sure why), let me give you one of those fast forward rundowns a la “Easy A”.
Max Dennison and his family move to a new town and in order to impress the girl he thinks is cute. On Halloween, he brings the Sanderson Sisters back to life, the by-product of a 300-year-old curse. With the help of a talking cat (Binx), Max, Allison (his crush) and his sister, Dani must stop the evil witch sisters from sucking the lives out of children and becoming immortal.
The movie stars Bette Midler, who I think was (is?) a singer who sings in Vegas a lot, a young Sarah Jessica Parker (yeah, “Sex and the City” Sarah Jessica Parker) and Kathy Najimy, who hasn’t been in anything noteworthy since, (or at least not anything I’ve seen). The bewitching trio play Winifred, Sarah and Mary Sanderson, respectively, and their only goal in their second life is to be immortal.
The humor in this movie is unparalleled. I think it’s probably one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen, even when you’re a kid. And then when you get older and can understand the sexual innuendoes that they managed to sneak in there, it is a riot! The only possibly sketchy part is Sarah Jessica Parker’s dance while singing to the children. That’s what my boyfriend called it anyway. You all know exactly what I’m talking about.
Other than the questionable magical lullaby a.k.a. boob dance, I would definitely classify this movie as apropo and fantastic for all ages. While the younger kids might not understand all of it fully (and definitely won’t get all of the humor), the visual stimulation is enough to keep them entertained. And if you’re an adult and don’t enjoy “Hocus Pocus”, I feel sorry for you. I really do. You must have a really lame sense of humor. But that’s all I’m saying.
Basically, see “Hocus Pocus.” Every year. At Halloween. You will never regret it, I promise you that. I know I’ve never regretted it once, and for three years straight, that’s the only movie that we’ve watched on Halloween. I might have all of the words memorized but it never gets old.
Thanks Grandma. Love ya!
Jen
Ah, Jen, my dearest granddaughter…she’s got such a great sense of humor. Well, I guess I learned that “apropo” is teenager slang for the word “appropriate”. I don’t think I can even make a decent follow up comment to this, so I’ll leave it at that… but, on the other hand… I also learned that we elderly shouldn’t mess with any Disney cultural icons, ever, no matter how badly made or written, and “Hocus Pocus” is no exception. For those of you who don’t mind throwing away a few hours you’ll never get back, go watch Jen’s movie recommendation.
For the rest of you who’d like to watch a classic Halloween flick that has the potential to creep you out a bit, wait until you are home alone some night, turn off all of the lights, turn the volume up high and the cell phone off, then go watch Audrey Hepburn’s “Wait Until Dark.”
This old lady dares you.
Emma Rae Curtis is a costume/dressing up/makeup & accessories expert. She mainly writes about Halloween but also about all things costume and dress-up related.
Her granddaughter, Jen, guest posts here, much to Emma Rae’s chagrin. (SJP dance? Good Grief!)
